I recently had a hospital stay for a minor scheduled surgery. It was a long time coming. I needed to have the procedure. A few days beforehand, my husband asked how I was feeling about it.
“Honestly? Excited to have a break!” I admitted.
My husband laughed. He reminded me that it was indeed surgery. I was going to be in pain. It wouldn’t be a holiday.
I assured him that although this was true, I was still looking forward to it. It seems crazy to admit but I was desperate for a break. It didn’t matter that it was surgery or time spent in hospital. I was going to have time off.
Here Are 3 Reasons Why:
1. Enforced Rest
A hospital stay meant enforced rest for at least a week, maybe more. It meant that I had to rest. I had no other choice. I had to lie down. I had to stay in bed. I had to wear comfy clothes. I didn’t have to justify how many movies or TV shows I binged. I didn’t feel guilty for reading books. I didn’t need to reach 10,0000 steps for the day, just enough to get to the snacks and back.
2. No Caring For Children
I would have time off from raising children. Don’t get me wrong. I love my children. They are sweet, cute and helpful. I simply get tired and overwhelmed with the job. These days of rest would mean no toddler tantrums, no noise and chaos, no nappy changes or snacks. I wouldn’t have to pack bags and get out of the house in the morning. I wouldn’t have to unpack the bags. I wouldn’t have to get lunch and think about dinner.
3. No Housework
This part excited me the most. I would have time off from keeping house. No cooking. Even though we have a Thermomix now, cooking is still a big job. Having an excuse not to cook or tidy up from cooking was the dream. I wouldn’t have to clean, tidy or organise. My house is fairly minimal but it’s far from perfect. I wouldn’t have the mental load of motherhood. I wouldn’t have to think and talk about logistics. I wouldn’t have to take care of the dozens of little jobs we do each day that go unnoticed. It’s a lot.
Hospital Bliss
As I went through the process of checking in (I mean admission), the nurse apologised for the wait. She said I might be waiting a couple of hours before surgery. I didn’t mind in the slightest. I had books to read. They could put it off as long as they needed to. I’d brought 4 books and downloaded eight movies (just in case. You never know when a one-night stay might increase to a seven-night stay …).
I’m pretty sure I skipped into the operating room. Well, not quite but I was quite enthusiastic. Yes, I sound insane. I also was looking forward to a nap.
The anaesthetist asked how old my children were (7,5,3). Her three-year-old was going through a super tricky phase. She admitted she enjoys coming to work as a break. She said there is a reason they are designed so cute at this age.
In recovery, I was super sleepy. I begged the hospital staff to let me sleep longer. I joked that if they wanted to operate on any other part, I’d be happy to go back to sleep again. They had a giggle and kindly left me to doze. I presume they didn’t perform any additional surgery.
What bliss it was to sit up in a bed and have food and drink brought to me. Honestly how one could complain about aeroplane or hospital food astounds me. I mean, it’s not always amazing, but still. I didn’t have to cook it. Someone bringing it to me on a tray. Living the dream. ?
During rounds, the surgeon asked how I was doing. I told him that I was loving my stay. He had a laugh.
Upon checkout (I mean, discharge), the nursing staff let me stay a little longer. It seemed like everyone else had left except me.
I was keen to have lunch, ever since I saw the menu card. My mouth was watering at the thought of roast chicken. I felt like I wasted the first day of hospital food. I was so sleepy post-surgery that I really couldn’t eat much. It was time to make up for it. I had paid enough for my stay. I figured, what’s an extra lunch among friends.
I filled in the menu card, not knowing if I’d be able to eat it. I ticked everything I could. Soup. Roast Chicken. Mash. Green Beans. Carrots. Side salad. Dressing. Bread. Butter. Juice. Coffee. Milk. Sugar. Ice Cream.
When my husband messaged at 11:50 to say he’d just parked out the front of the hospital, I looked at the clock. Lunch could be anytime from 12. I asked him to wait a few minutes in the car before coming in. It might just give me the buffer I need to have lunch. One more meal delivered to me room. I was looking forward to it. I needed it.
He understood. He took his time. Not long after arriving into my room did I hear the glorious sound of an automated cart. Bingo. We managed to sneak in one last cheeky meal before it was time to vacate the room. I enjoyed every last bite. It was worth it.
Who Is Looking After The Kids?
Whenever I mentioned that I was enjoying the break, people asked the same question.
“Who is looking after your children?” It’s a legitimate question. I also wonder if they would ever ask a man that whilst he stayed in hospital. It would simply be assumed that the mother would be.
I mentioned it to my husband. He agreed, saying that when he has had the odd surgery or hospital procedure, he has never been asked who is looking after his boys. It wouldn’t even be a consideration. Similarly, he does not get asked who is looking after his children while he goes to work.
I find this so sexist. Talk about double standards.
Recovery At Home
Since being home, it has been wonderful. Weird but wonderful.
I’m grateful for all the kind help I have received. Meals, snacks and icecream. Slippers and lip balm. It is humbling.
It’s been strange blocking myself off in the bedroom. When I do emerge, I glance around at the mess. Our house is normally messy. That’s not new. What is, is needing to ignore it. It’s not my responsibility right now. I can walk past the piles of stuff and the overflowing bin and the recycling to be taken out. The unvacuumed floor can wait. The toys can be put away later.
It’s a weird but wonderful feeling to let this all go. Maybe I need to do this more often when I am the one in charge. Food for thought.
What other procedures have I found relaxing?
Whilst we’re on the topic, I have found other medical procedures to be quite relaxing since becoming a parent. Things like:
- Ingrown toenail removal
- CT scan
- Bone density scan
- Cervical screening
- Having a mole removed
After hearing from many of you on social media, I know that I am not alone. Mums are desperate for a break. We’ll take any chance we get.
There are other ways that we can have a break. We can join our local MomCo (the best mum’s group around). We can meet a friend at a play cafe. We can organise childcare or $5 occasional care so we can enjoy a haircut, pedicure or coffee in peace. We can chat with other parents while our children play in the creek after school. We can book a babysitter for a date night. We can enjoy reading a book in the sunshine.
Sometimes though, the idea of having time off without having to do all of the normal thinking and planning is exciting. What’s a little pain and discomfort?
Have you looked forward to a surgery or hospital stay? Since becoming a parent, do you view it as a break?
I’d love to hear from you below or connect with you over on Instagram or Facebook.
Melanie Wegener
