Is It Ever Okay To Comment On Someone’s Grocery Shop?

I was recently doing a grocery shop at Aldi. This in itself, is not all that exciting. It’s one of those boring tasks that we need to get done.

Something happened that made me feel defensive. It was unhelpful. It was not welcomed. It made me hate grocery shopping more than I normally do.

Shopping for groceries is my least favourite job. Give me washing or cleaning the bathroom any day over buying food. I put it off as long as possible.

Why don’t I like it?

There are many reasons that I don’t love grocery shopping.

I don’t like all the decisions. Whilst these are reduced at stores like Aldi, knowing how much of each item to buy or leave is tricky.
It takes time. Driving, parking, shopping, checkout, repacking, putting into the car, taking out of the car and putting it all away. We have groceries delivered sometimes but it does increase the cost.
I find it tiring. Even as a fit, young (approaching middle age) mother, I am exhausted by this job.
Sourcing gluten-free items. We don’t do this for fun or as a healthy choice. We have to for coeliac disease. This adds an additional cost to the grocery shop and feels unfair. Most gluten-free products are small in size so you end up buying numerous packets so they last.
The overall cost. Grocery prices have increased drastically over the last couple of years. It’s frustrating as we pay so much more for the same basic products. This means we put less in the basket or trolley.

The process of grocery shopping is a lot. Managing food in a household is a big job. We have a Thermomix and it’s fantastic, but it doesn’t reduce the load completely. (Side note: with Thermomix you can meal plan, add ingredients to your weekly shop and even order groceries from Woolworths through the Cookidoo app. I need to try it.)

RELATED: How To Cope With The Rising Cost Of Living

I prefer to go outside and tackle some yard work – mow the lawn, clean the gutters and trim the shrubs. At least these jobs have a sense of productivity and come with bonus fresh air. They don’t need to be repeated as often as the inside jobs, except for weeding and raking leaves. They are never finished.

To prepare for the grocery shop, I spent time sorting out the pantry, fridge and freezer. I found ways to use up ingredients. We discussed the week ahead and put together a meal plan. I went to Aldi with a list and a pen and worked my way around the store.

Whilst there were some extra items I bought, I otherwise stayed on track. I bought what we needed and what we would eat. It was an intentional shop. I wanted to have more snack food on hand to make leaving the house easier. This way, I wouldn’t rely on buying food out.

I purchased 36 eggs (2 cartons of 18) for hard-boiled eggs (filling snack), use in cooking and easy meals (scrambled eggs, eggs and bacon, burgers and quiche). I purchased twiggy sticks and meats for protein when out. I bought basmati fish and salmon because I want to increase my intake.

I bought extra staples, lots of fresh fruit and veggies and frozen items. I wanted to have a stocked kitchen to encourage more cooking and reduce the need to run to the shops.

My heart sank as I approached the conveyor belt. This is the moment that I always regret going to Aldi. I loaded them up, put them back in and paid for my items.

I made my way over to the bench to begin the ridiculous process of repacking my trolley (thanks Aldi). The bags were sticking out over the top. It’s tricky to repack it so it all fits without taking forever do it it. The nappies, pull-ups and multipack box of chips made it extra difficult.

I was already feeling self-conscious about the large amount I had bought. Despite trying hard to keep the costs down, the total had come to over $450. I still needed to get a few things at Coles that they don’t stock at Aldi.

A couple in their early sixties began walking towards me. They stopped dead in their tracks.

The man pointed at my trolley, jokingly saying, “I’d hate to pay your grocery bill.” He looked at his wife and they laughed together.

Whilst I didn’t think it was meant to be a rude comment, I didn’t appreciate it either. When I replied that we have a family of five and I don’t shop every week, they asked if I lived far away. They couldn’t understand why I wouldn’t shop more regularly.

I explained that I have young children and avoid taking them to the shop if I can. It makes the whole ordeal that much harder so I wait until the weekend when I can go by myself.

They looked blank. They didn’t seem to get it (or remember).

This couple appeared to be incredibly nosy and had all the time in the world. They had the luxury of going to the shops for two grocery items. Maybe they went everyday, just for something to do.

They were intrigued about my grocery shopping habits. They stood next to me and watched me repack it, giving commentary and asking questions. I tried to be as polite as possible, answering their questions as I continued packing.

I normally don’t mind having a chat to strangers in the supermarket. I avoid going to the self-service checkout for this reason. This wasn’t a normal chat though. I felt ambushed. I felt embarrassed. I felt like I was on trial.

They eventually gave up, told me good luck and walked off. I could still hear them chattering to each other in disbelief, no doubt talking about this woman who had more money than sense to spend so much on food.

I rushed to pack the last few things and get out of there. I started to message my husband. I needed to vent.

I don’t profess to have the lowest grocery shop. I rarely post tips on this or share my grocery bill because I know it’s not amazing. I try hard but food just costs money. It’s also not as clear cut as a dollar figure.

There are factors like:

Family size (this adds to the cost).
Age of children (how much they eat or waste).
Gender of children (eg. teenage boys are known to eat a lot).
Dietary restrictions and allergies (this always adds to the cost and often means you need to buy extra ingredients).
Location (rural locations have less choice and can be more expensive for groceries. Inner city can be more expensive too).
How often you order takeaway (like Uber Eats).
How often you eat out (it might appear like you don’t buy many groceries but end up spending a lot more).
Whether you had a home delivery kit (like Hello Fresh or Dinnerly).
What you include (if you include cleaning, bathroom or women’s hygiene products) .
If you buy nappies or formula (these are expensive, especially for multiples or having multiple children in nappies or pull ups).
Whether you pack snacks and a thermos or buy them out (it takes more effort but saves money).
Whether snacks and nappies are included at daycare (some are, some aren’t) .
Whether your children have lunch orders or pack it (lunch orders are expensive!).
If you eat meals at parents or in laws (this saves on buying food, at least for one family).
Fussy eaters (both children and adults. Catering for this can be difficult and stressful).
Counting top up shops (or servo bread and milk in the weekly grocery shop number).
Whether you grow your own herbs, fruit or veggies, have chickens (this can save a lot at the checkout).
Whether you have pets (and if you include this in the grocery shop or purchase separately).
If you can get to the store in person or visit multiple stores (this is often cheaper than ordering online or going to one large supermarket but isn’t possible for everyone).
How much you work (how much time is left to meal prep and cook from scratch) .
Type of work or exercise you do (physical labour jobs often mean eating larger, more filling meals. Those doing lots of training or sport often need to eat more too).
How often you go (some people prefer to go every day or two, others weekly, some fortnightly or less often. We do what works for our season).

The list could go on.

I don’t think it’s as simple as saying I spend this much on groceries each week. It’s a whole lot more complicated than that.

I know that my husband and I could do better on our grocery shop. We could get the cost lower. We could do better. I’m trying. It’s also a busy stage.

Although we don’t have the cheapest shop, we rarely go out for meals or order food in. We rarely buy coffees or snacks out.

This comment by a stranger was most likely well meaning. I don’t think they meant to be rude. They were trying to make conversation. Maybe I should have chilled out rather than getting defensive. I’m a work in progress.

I asked this question on social media. It was interesting to gauge what others thought.

What about you? Is it ever okay to comment on someone else’s grocery shop? Is it okay to be curious or just plain rude?

I’d love to hear below or connect with you over on Instagram or Facebook.

Melanie Wegener

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