Taking care of yourself and your children can be a tough job. It’s hard enough to do the basics, let alone worry about self-care. Experts remind us of the importance of putting yourself first and making it a priority.

Learning how to do this well and doing the same for our children is important.

Eat At Least One Meal Together

Family life can get busy. After-school commitments such as sport, music and teenage part-time jobs, can put pressure on families. Working parents have a lot to manage. This often means rushing through mealtimes or eating on the run.

Experts recommend sitting down for a family meal at least once per day. This might mean some conversations around how to do things differently and intentionally scheduling time in together. Do what you can to eat a meal together every single day. 

It doesn’t have to be the same meal. If you can’t make every dinner, consider making breakfast a priority on one morning a week. Get up a little earlier and take turns cooking pancakes or waffles. Sit down for a weekend roast for lunch or pumpkin soup and freshly baked rolls. Mealtimes can bring families closer together.

If you are simply too stressed and busy, consider cutting back on extracurricular activities. It might be just for a season or longer if needed.

Take A Break When It’s Needed

Parents, this one is for you. You have to know when to take a break when it’s needed before you burn out. You don’t want to be one of those people who wanders around in a constant state of stress, who lashes out at people for every little thing and who generally isn’t pleasant to be around.

This is no good for your children but it’s also no fun for you either. Try to take a break, give yourself some time to chill out and relax and then get back to things. We don’t want to experience burnout.

For some people, a break might look like a massage or day spa, getting your nails done or time at the hairdresser. It might be drawing, painting or reading a book. For others, it might be going for a run, a long walk or a hike. Some people feel most refreshed in nature. Others simply appreciate the time away from others to do gardening, a project or mow the lawn.

There is no one right way for self-care. Know what fills your tank and figure out with your partner how to get the time to do this.

Your children need you to be the very best version of yourself. If this means that you need a break every now and then, make sure you’re taking them. You are a person first and foremost, which means that you have limits. That’s completely okay and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. You also need to teach your children how to do this later down the line too.

Talk About Mental Health

The first thing that we want to talk about is mental health. As parents, we can feel overwhelmed and isolated. We might not have a support circle around us. Many of us struggle with anxiety and depression.

If you’re not coping with life right now, know that you’re not alone. It’s okay to ask for help to get the support that you need. When we prioritise our own mental health, we are better equipped to help our children when they are struggling too.

Encourage your children to speak about the way that they are feeling. Ask them what is going on inside of their head. Allow them to speak openly and honestly.

I find that children want to talk before bed. This is when they feel comfortable and they might have had time to process things since school.

Try to create a judgment-free zone. When they speak to you about issues like this, be open and honest and listen more than you talk. Avoid coming across as the expert or downplaying what they feel. Be there for them. If they need more support, consider seeing a GP for a mental health care plan. They might have a counsellor or wellbeing leader that they could talk to at school.

Do What Is Best For Them, Even If It’s Hard

There are going to be times when in order to prioritise yourself and your children, you’re going to make some tough choices. You will have to do things that they might not like, they might not agree with and even things that you might not want to do. That’s the beauty of being a parent.

An example of this might be getting supervised visitation for the other parent if there is a reason to do this. It might be hard, and your kids might not understand, but you just have to do whatever you think is best. 

In life, you’re going to have to make hard choices, and your children are going to have to do this too at some point. It’s important that you give them a strong role model who makes the tough choices even when there were easier options, but chose the better one anyway. They might not get it in the moment. One day they will look back and be thankful that they had such a strong parent guiding the way, teaching them to stand up for themselves and look after themselves in the process.

Understanding The Importance Of Sleep

Many parents struggle with sleep. You’re not getting enough sleep and your children are not getting enough. Everyone is struggling.

Children need boundaries and sleep is no different. It’s always a good idea to have a bedtime routine in place, no matter how old your child is, to let their brain know that this sequence of events is leading to sleep. It often helps people sleep better, and can be adapted for various ages.

A bedtime routine could be dinner, bath, brush teeth, stories in bed, lights out. In my family, we often do a bath or shower before dinner. We find it reduces witching hour and helps calm them before dinner. Do what works for you.

Routines help your child to know that bedtime is coming. It helps their body and brain to start calming down, ready for sleep.

Consider putting your children to bed earlier. The time depends on how early they wake up, whether or not they nap, what time they get home from childcare or school and how tired they are. We put our boys to bed early and find that it helps us all to cope better.

Try to make sure that you are getting enough sleep yourself. If you and your partner are in the habit of staying up late, try moving this a little earlier. It can be a gradual change. It’s a hard balance between getting enough sleep and feeling like you’ve had enough relax time.

Small Steps, Big Changes

We hope these suggestions have been helpful for thinking about how to take better care of yourself and your children. Being a parent is challenging. It can take it’s toll.

We aren’t selfish for taking time for ourselves. It simply means that we are making it a priority. When we take the time to care for ourselves, we parent better.

These are skills that you can teach your children. As they get older, they will learn to do this themselves. It will serve them well into the future.

We are never too old to change. We can set up better habits and routines for our family. Small changes can have a big impact. Taking time to care for yourself and in turn, your children, is so important.

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